My name is Joseph Kestrel.

I am  a man of sound faithful mind, who lives in a world that he cannot concieve a loving and kind God would allow. I have been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. As it is I live my entire life in constant pain. I have been ostracized by my family, and my own children wont associate with me.  I have recieved no consolation from Christianity to my condition. God wills it to be this way, and there is a reason for it. All I can do is sit here and analyze what I see and read. This in an attempt to understand why I am this way. I speak fact, and fact only. I do not interpret.


12 Responses to About

  1. mijadedios says:

    First time here, I read your Frisbee and Cain accounts. I appreciate that they were ‘fact’ based and linked to the Frisbee one from my blog so my readers can check it out. Hopefully they’ll read the Paul Cain one as well. Just a question, are in a CC or a Vineyard or did you come out of those churches?

    • bibleadmin says:

      No. Im related to the Frisbee family.

      • mijadedios says:

        Really. Wow. Well, I’m a recovering Calvary Chapel person and I’ve been trying to discern CC’s beginnings for some time. Of course Lonnie was instrumental at the start of CC. You may not want to talk to me after this but if you read my last post on my site, I’d welcome correction if I’m conveying any untruths about Lonnie. It’s totally up to you if you want to bother. I’m digging through your blog right now.

      • bibleadmin says:

        My issues with the church as a whole stem from the CC and Vineyards support for the ex-gay movement, the toronto blessing, support for the WBC, Todd Bentley ( Joels army ), Ted Haggard ( now openly bisexual ), the malign of Lonnie Frisbee ( often vineyard members of today dont even know of Lonnie’s existence, he was expunged from church histories, and Wagonner has openly stated that Lonnie was never a Vineyard member, directly to my face ). A fellow blogger and good friend was a long standing member of the toronto movement, during the time of the blessing csme out, and was physically assaulted and scarred physically for life as a result of an overzealous member of the blessing ( he was blessed on his genitalia during the ceremony with what he thought was holy water, only to find it was a mild sulfuric acid that caused second degree burns ).

      • mijadedios says:

        Ok, to clarify are you for the Gay community or support Gay “Christians?” and because of your support are upset that these two movements are trying to cover up the fact that they have utilized Gay “Christians” throughout their history? I’m exposing CC and when you do that you can’t help but investigate Lonnie Frisbee. Lonnie, in my opinion, was never a saved born again regenerate Christian. It appears he had an “experience” and he did receive a “spirit” but to test his fruit and see whether or not he bore fruit of the Holy Spirit, I see no evidence of that. In the testimony I heard him give he seems to enjoy the fact that he got one over on all of the people when he faked healings and prophesied falsely. He was working with people that the average person never meets, in that case he was both used and useful. I think Chuck Smith and John Wimber, as well as probably others I have yet to identify, “pimped” him out for a lack of a better word. These “pastors” knew Lonnie was gay and actively in relationships but they looked the other way because Lonnie’s dynamic persona brought the people in to the church. So I’m not defending Lonnie but I’m also not defending CC or Vineyard. I think they all knew what they were doing and were purposeful in the deception of the church body. Now, today Chuck Smith Jr is trying to reconcile being gay and christian by endorsing “Embrace” which is a conference for Gay Christians. Smith Jr. talks highly of Lonnie Frisbee, I’m sure his dad doesn’t like this but Jr does it anyway. There are many more videos on youtube that show people who came out of Vineyard and Toronto giving credit to Lonnie Frisbee. I always copy them when I see them because they usually don’t last long on line. The cover up continues… for this reason I persevere to expose what I can when I can. People deserve the right to know what spirit started CC and Vineyard, then if they choose to endorse that spirit at least they are doing so with full knowledge and are choosing the lie versus being deceived by the cover up. Thanks for taking time to respond to me.

      • bibleadmin says:

        Again, please do not mistake my aim here. I expose the church, Vineyard in particular, because of their Hubris as well as their outright Hypocritical nature. To say Lonnie wasnt in the spirit of God, is certainly an opinion for one person to make. I have no issue with that statement. However, the ones that Demonize him, even denounce the fact that he had a positive influence on others (gay or not), is not OK. Those who know him, knew that he had a kind and gentle personality. And gay or not, those around him liked him. These are the experiences about him that we remember the most, and its hard, very hard for us to reconcile what the Vineyard Church does to his memory.

        The issue of Homosexuality, and whether or not its tolerated by the church (following the New Testament paradigm shift of acceptance of others regardless of their state of mind), or not tolerated by the church (Holding Old Testament Law as paramount over all others, in which if this is the case, then go out and kill all the Gays you can, because God commanded it).

        I dont hold the issue of Lonnie’s Homosexuality to case. He was, thats what he was, and all I see when I think of him, was a good person who motivated others in a positive way. Thats the very purest of sense that any one person can have about him.

        What I find even more detestable however, is the extent in which the Vineyard Church goes to call out homosexuals and deviants, and yet the church itself is full of deviant behaviour. Cain and Lonnie were examples of this. And I tend to believe, based on the wealth of knowledge that I have amassed, that the Vineyard Church, was not aware of Cain indescretions nearly as much as apparently they were about Lonnie’s. Even to a further extent, the involvement that Ted Haggard had with John Wimber, and the Vineyard’s connection to the Toronto Blessing, Wimber probably wasnt aware of Haggard’s open drug use, and Rampant homosexual behaviour with other men.

        The Vineyard Church is a scar. And no matter how far down and how far long they try to repress it (and the rabbit hole for them goes far deeper than anyone is willing to admit, even to the area local to where I live, there have been allegations that 2 ministers of 2 local vineyard chapters have had brushes with homosexual behaviour, and yet they continue to hide it), and even hide the fact that its an accepted practice. More Over the fact that the Vineyard Church actively participates in the Ex-Gay movement (homosexuals who profess to have been cured of their desires, and the intent that they can be cured of them, and help others to do the same), and limited to the fact that many Ex-gays leave that very arena by the admission that it never works.

        The Vineyard Church is full of Heretics, Deniers, and Decievers, and as long as I draw breath, Ill continue to expose them for what they are.

  2. mijadedios says:

    I don’t know anything about the “EX-Gay movement.” I don’t argue that Lonnie was personable, but whether or not he was liked and an overall nice guy doesn’t change that he was a practicing homosexual thus not regenerate and could not have been exercising the Holy Spirit, but rather another spirit. For myself, I cannot reconcile how someone can be openly in sin and then be given credit for bringing others to Christ. Maybe I have a lot to learn regarding that. I don’t doubt that God can, through His Holy Spirit and the Scripture, save people in spite of the lost soul that is doing the preaching.I believe I’m saved and regenerate although I came out of the CULT of Calvary Chapel, and many of the teachings I’m now discerning are false. So, what small mustard seed of truth that was present, God was certainly able to minister and call me. But that’s just it, God does the calling and the filling not ‘man.’ Lonnie was used by CC. They used him and abused him and he also had a part in that as well. Thanks for your feedback and I’ll probably come by and read more here. If we continue to expose and shed light I believe others will come out of the apostate church and begin to realize for themselves. We can only do our part, the rest is the work of the Lord, His Holy Spirit.

    • bibleadmin says:

      As far as what it takes for any person to recognize what another person has to do in the eyes of God to be “saved”, this is not something that any one person can ascribe. The divine nature upon which Christians as a whole base their faith are nothing more than Humanistic attempts to define something that , for all intents and purposes, is without definition. Similarly in the way that people ascribe that God in limitless, without flaw, and the absolute embodiment of everything that is good, so do non-believers approach people as yourself as assess that God knowingly created evil. Pure unadulterated Good created nearly total abject and debase evil….knowingly. To a person like me, God is 3 things. Sovereign, Without Definition, and unexplainable. God does not follow a denomination. God does not ascribe to a specific belief, and the motives of God are that for which normal human beings cannot understand. Just as Christians (and I tend to laugh at this when it happens), limit and define that which they have no business doing so, by calling God by a gender limitation, in calling God, Him. We all, men and women, make God in our own image. That is without limitation, and without definition.

      When people draw conclusions about what they think Elohimm, Yahweh, Jehovah, God (however you wish to address that being) is, there is a lack of element in that understanding. There is no way for a non-believer to understand anything about something that cant be proven (anymore than the existence of Allah can be explained, or even Shiva for that matter). King James I (previous King James the IV, replacing his mother — Mary Queen of Scots) was a lover of men, yet he was intrinsic in the release of the now widely known King James Version of the bible. To say that he was righteously motivated to do so must have been laughable as he lay in bed at night with the Duke of Buckingham, who buggered him in the arse repeatedly.

      The ex-gay movement consists of people and organizations that seek to encourage people to refrain from entering or pursuing same-sex relationships, to eliminate bisexual and homosexual desires, to develop heterosexual desires, or to enter into a heterosexual relationship. “Ex-gay” is a term used to describe persons who once considered themselves to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but who no longer assert that identity. The movements primary motive is to “Cure” homosexuality and obliterate it from existence.

      Günter Baum, Anthony Venn-Brown, John Smid, Warren Throckmorton, and Peter Toscano were all major players in the Ex-gay movement, 2 of which founded major organizations to procure the ex-gay movement, in the hopes to eliminate homosexuality from the earth utterly. Interesting fact is, the ex-gay movement is a failure, and even those major players who were involved in it, later recanted their attempts to cure themselves, and started counter-orgs to combat what they had created.

      When entities like the Vineyard Church rear their heads and attempt to manipulate others thoughts, minds, and meditations by erroneous use of the bible, then that org ( like any other org equally guilty ) draws my ire. I am , yes, particularly sensitive to the denouncing of the CC and the Vineyard church because of the inherent damage I have seen it cause. The outright disgust in the nature of their activities. And as such I use my literary sword to tear them apart and expose them for who they are. Deceiving, Lying, mollwarts deserving of no less than Dantes 7th level of the Inferno.

      As far as my origins go, I was raised and bred in the Primitive Baptist convention. I consider myself a scholar of the major religious works. I have ingested in the course of my life, the Bible over 25 times, the Quran 20 times, and most of the eastern and esoteric texts many times over. I have an eidetic memory, that for which is why I can intelligently speak about such things, and I am also additionally Autistic. This enables me to speak dispassionately about subjects and approach them from a much more subjective view.

      • mijadedios says:

        ok, you’re more versed than I and it appears you objective is to now insult me. fine. I’m gone.

  3. Jane Demajio says:

    I am a survivor of Calvary Paramount
    I don’t know if anyone remembers how that one ended but it was not well.
    Anyways, you are not going to find a perfect church.
    Mine is full of weirdos & people leaning too far one way or the other.
    I think that there is so much FEAR of getting it “wrong” biblically that everyone is missing what’s right
    God will be straightening us all out on doctrine one day soon here.
    Until then he sees our heart.
    If we spend even HALF the time loving & giving to others the way Jesus did (without judgement & unconditionally) in His ministry as we do arguing about this stuff & being offended at everyone & everything, we would ALL be less sick, less diseased, less depressed, less MISERABLE
    God doesn’t want you sick
    He wants you WELL
    Emotionally, physically, spiritually
    Go LOVE someone else & be free

  4. Beth says:

    How are you today?

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